BOOST YOUR CHILD’S SELF CONFIDENCE IN 10 WAYS

Children are beautiful gifts to us from the Almighty. We have been assigned as guardians to them; to nurture and guide them through making the best choices in this life and for the hereafter. However, there are times, due to our over-protection or nonchalant attitude, we tend to forget that a child is an individual and not a toy. Children also think about their surrounding, react to things and people around them, and make decisions based on these.When a child is amidst his/ her peers, it is important he possesses a good dose of self confidence. While some children may be naturally ‘hyper’ confident in themselves, others need a little push from their parents, so they don’t feel lonely among their peers or become objects of ridicule and bullying.

  1. COMMEND YOUR CHILD WHEN HE DOES SOMETHING GOOD: Human beings love to be acknowledged when they achieve something. Your child is no exception.When s/he cleans the room well, let him or her know. When he performs well at the recital, show your happiness. Even when he breaks the window in your absence but tells the truth, commend him/her for saying the truth. These go a long way in building self confidence and integrity in your child.
  2. WHEN HE MAKES MISTAKES, RELATE MATURELY WITH HIM: When your child makes mistakes, you do not have to insult or beat him. You could sit him down like an adult, and explain to him why that particular deed is wrong. It makes your child feel more important. When you dialogue with him about a mistake he made, and he still repeats the same mistake, he’ll also know that he deserves a nice punishment then.
  3. DO NOT CALL YOUR CHILD DEROGATORY NAMES: When you call your child ‘stupid’ all the time, he starts feeling stupid, even among his peers. If he is given a responsibility in school, for instance, he’ll be scared to execute it, as he’ll feel he is too stupid to do it right, since that is what he is labelled with at home.
  4. LET HIM MAKE MISTAKES: Correcting your child every time will lower his self esteem. Let him make mistakes and learn from it on his own. This makes him more responsible and independent.
  5. BUY HIM CLOTHINGS THAT MAKE HIM FEEL COOL: Get for your child the best clothes and accessories you can afford. When your child is well dressed, it gives him more confidence in the midst of others. It also makes his peers respect him more.
  6. MOTIVATE HIM TO TRY NEW THINGS: Encourage him to participate in quiz, spelling bees, and debate competitions at school and in the neighborhood. Encourage him to join sports-clubs  and help him with training and preparations. Even when he doesn’t win, cheer him up and encourage him to try again next time. His self confidence will rise.
  7. LET HIM BE IN CHARGE: Leave him to arrange his room on his own once in a while. Give little tasks to do, and grant him privacy too.
  8. EXPOSE HIM TO LEARNING ABOVE HIS PEERS: Apart from normal school curriculum, let him/her learn additional skills like programming, public speaking, catering etc.
  9. REMIND HIM OF HOW IMPORTANT HE IS: Your child is obviously important to you. However it is crucial that you remind him/her of how important s/he is to you. Let him/her hear the words from your mouth.
  10. SHOW LOVE: Never forget to say the words ‘I love you’ to your child every time, and show him/her love always.

BELIEVE IN ME…

She can read it, I can’t
He can spell it, I can’t!
I’m so dumb, they know
I’ll never be good

Mummy thinks I’m lazy
Daddy hates my life
Cousins laugh at me
My sister feels ashamed

Why can’t they just understand
That I don’t understand myself
I try hard to be on point
But all these letters just assault

Year by year I dread the reports
Sent to my home to punish me further
‘He just can’t cope’, they keep on saying
My parents don’t know why they’ll keep paying!

All alone in my room I feel
A world so real as I look through my window
I pick up my pencil and watch in awe
As the stars dance and the moon shines bright

As I watch and I draw I feel such bliss
And hope that my world could still make sense
From my sheet, the stars still dance with the moon
With a sigh, I lay down and hope for the best

Today’s Quran memorization is about to start
My first time in class, they still feel I can’t
With my soul at peace and my heart with Allah
I recite His words with a beautiful voice

Even though for me, the letters are hard
I just have to hear them recite once and I can!
Oh I can, as long as I believe
And I can do more, if they believe in me.

This is a poem on dyslexia and how dyslexic children feel. Help a child with dyslexia today; believe in them and support them to achieve success in their unique ways.

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER

Sarah hates her life. Most of the time,she feels she is not in control anymore, and it would take all her strength not to scream out in public. Even going out of the house is a big problem. Sometimes, she spends close to twenty minutes in front of her electric stove just to confirm that it has been turned off. Then comes the closing the door ritual. She has to turn the key around up to three times before she can be convinced that it is actually locked. When she meets a friend on the street, she silently prays that she is not hugged or have her hands shaken, because that would cause another bout of crazy thoughts that she might have contracted a deadly disease from that contact. Of course, Sarah knows all these thoughts are ridiculous, she just can’t control it.

This makes her feel constantly miserable, and lonely. She has never seen anyone around her with this problem, so she finds it difficult to share her predicament with people around her. She has suffered from this for as long as she can remember, and at 30, she has had enough.

When she came down with a bout of flu and had to see her family doctor, she confided in her about the terrible problem ruining her life.

‘It is a form of anxiety disorder, dear’, the doctor explained, ‘it is called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; and as the name implies, you feel obsessed to do certain activities in ritualistic forms; like checking a locked door thrice, washing your hands multiple times for fear of germs, or compelled to do certain things in particular numbers.’

“Wow!” exclaimed Sarah, ” I never knew it even had a name.Does that mean I’ve gone bonkers? ” she asked.

‘ No!’ replied her doctor. ‘ It is a fairly common disorder. In fact, many professionals and even some famous people have it; doctors, musicians, teachers, actors; yet they still live their normal lives. As long as you learn to control these obsessions, and you realize they are not real threats, you’ll be in charge of your life again.’ The doctor continued. ‘ There are also certain drugs to help you through the gradual process of self control. Don’t worry, together we will get back your self worth.’

A happy Sarah returned home feeling lighter, happier, and not quite alone in the world.

 

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a form of disorder comprising of obsessive thoughts, ideas and actions that makes the sufferer indulge in compulsive activities, especially in ritualistic forms. An example is when a sufferer washes his or her hands repeatedly for fear of contracting germs and diseases. Another form of this disorder is arranging things in pairs or threes. If a sufferer is obsessed with arranging things in pairs and you add one more article, he becomes uncomfortable until the extra article is removed.

Some OCD sufferers are obsessed with cleanliness, and few grains of sand on their living room floor can make them so uncomfortable until it is cleaned.

In the same vein, some OCD sufferers feel they have to pray a particular number of times ( mostly three times) before their request is acknowledged. Some feel they have to answer to their name being called a specific number of times (yes, yes, yes) else something bad might happen to them.

OCD can be quite a debilitating disorder if it is not controlled. It is a form of anxiety disorder and creates a sense of continuous anxiety and troubled mind.

OCD can be managed with anti anxiety drugs and psychotherapy. In psychotherapy, the sufferer would continue to learn how to control these obsessive thoughts, and how to convince himself or herself that they are not real.

OCD sufferers need constant help and support from friends, family, and medical personnel around them, in order to overcome a lifestyle of constant anxiety and compulsion.

 

OCD FROM ISLAMIC POINT OF VIEW

From Islamic perspective, OCD is almost synonymous to what is called WASWAS meaning “whispers of shaitan”. Waswas could affect anybody. It is a form of distraction from worship, and keeping the mind constantly troubled.

An example of waswas is when you perform ablution and start having doubts whether you performed it correctly or not. It affects some people so much that they can perform ablution up to four times for just one prayer. Another form of waswas is having doubts of the number of rakaats prayed during solat. It can be so severe that the sufferer performs sujud sahw (sujud of forgetfulness) for every prayer performed.

This problem can be controlled by constantly mentioning the Istiadhah (audhu billahi minash shaitonir rojeem- I seek refuge with Allah from shaitan the accursed) regularly and especially when obsessive thoughts occur. He should also read the mu’awidhatan (suratul Nas and Falaq) regularly, especially after each solat as directed by the prophet (SAW). He or she should also be in pure state regularly (constant state of ablution). In sha Allah, he or she will be cured as long as he or she is patient and consistent with the routines.

 

 

 

 

 

THIS LIFE

Is life really unfair

when sadness envelops us

so choking it seems there is no escape

is God really punishing us

when problems seem endless

and our cries for help seem unheard

do we really deserve pain

when we do everything to avoid it

yet it keeps running into us…

 

The moment we are born into this world

we are bound to be happy and be sad

to succeed and to fail

to laugh till you drool and cry in anguish

 

Everything in life is in twos

we know, yet it’s hard to accept

’tis not our faults, aren’t we mere mortals?

The only way to stay firm through life’s troubles

is to beseech the Almighty God at all times

Thank Him when things are lovely

Hold on to Him when things are horrible

Always remember, when the night seems darkest

the dawn is fast approaching.

 

 

 

THE LIFE AND TIMES OF A FELON

Two weeks ago, I had a novel experience of what we normally call a Whitlow, though, in medical term, the type I had is called a Felon. Unlike the common type called a Paronychia that occurs around the finger nail bed, a Felon occurs on the pulpy, fleshy part of the finger.
It started with me accidentally scraping my right index finger on a rough surface. I took the slight tingling with levity, thinking it would fade away with time. How wrong I was. The pain increased, the finger swelled up and was quite red. Suddenly, I couldn’t sleep for an hour straight without waking up to intense pain. I had to go to the hospital, where the doctor tried aspirating it with a needle and syringe. The agony I cannot describe. it was concluded that since the swelling wasn’t yet ‘ripe’, I needed to take it back home and was prescribed antibiotics.
The throbbing felt like the finger had a life of its own. I started applying heat to reduce the pain. Have you ever experienced non stop pain? That is what a felon does to you.
Eventually, the lower part ‘ripened’ like a yellow mango, and was cut opened to be drained. When you try to act like a boss even though you are in pains, you start sweating like a monkey. The draining did not reduce the pains, as the upper part was still red and tough; hence, a proper incision and drainage was arranged with a surgeon.
Eh eh, I was so scared of the second incision, but seriously, I needed to try anything to make the pain go away. It was as if my whole world was just about the pain at the time.
At the scene of the incision and drainage, a digital block was done with lignocaine injection to numb the finger, but it seemed the junior surgeon who was asked to check the time for the surgery to start wanted it to be over quickly. He announced us ready when my finger was not yet numb. When the incision started, my brain turned around in my head with pain, but the consultant surgeon handled it quite well. He deftly incised it and drained the pus thoroughly and quickly. There was this sweet nurse behind me that allowed me hold on to her hand throughout the trying process. By the time the doctor wrapped it all up, I felt like a new life had been handed over to me. At last, freedom!
The finger is healing up nicely, and I am appreciating the fact that I can sleep well again sans pains.
When a tiny part of the body is in trouble, the whole body suffers; that is one huge lesson that troublesome felon taught me.
For all those out there going through the ordeals of a felon, I say, you shall be free!

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW…ABOUT DIABETES

diabetes-sugar

Miss Shade(not real name) has been a healthy woman most of her life. At 29, she was a buxom woman with a successful career as an accountant in a reputable firm. She wasn’t much of an eater, but she indulged herself in candy, cookies, cakes; anything suitable to satisfy her sweet tooth.

Her aunt was diagnosed with diabetes four years ago, and has been more in the hospital than out of it since then. The doctor told them it took quite long before she realized something was wrong with her, and the disease had eaten deep into her system. She needed dialysis for her failing kidneys, and her left foot had a huge sore that has refused to heal.

Although Miss Shade had been told she might also be prone to it due to the possibility of diabetes being hereditary, she never really took it serious.

“I assumed only older people had the disease, and even if it was hereditary, I still had more years on my side to prepare against it”, Miss Shade said.

One morning at work, she realized she was going to pee more than usual. Within an hour, she had gone to the toilet four times. She felt so weak and thirsty.

“I knew something was wrong”, she said. After two and half hours, she decided to visit the company clinic.

“The Doctor immediately ordered for my random blood sugar test after speaking with me. I was surprised when the result came back and the doctor told me my sugar level was too high”, she continued.

“It felt like a dream to me; a diabetic at 29?! I had just started my life! I started having horrible imaginations of amputated limbs, failed kidneys, and confinement to the hospital bed for the rest of my life by the age of 35!”

“The doctor reassured me, and advised that if I could control the kinds of food I ate and took my drugs regularly, I could still live a long, healthy life”, she said.

“So far, I’ve been able to adhere to the rules; using my drugs regularly, avoiding simple sugar foods like candy and pastry, and living life with a positive mind”.

“Diabetes is not curable,” she enthused, “but it can be well managed with discipline, hard work and determination.”

 

Diabetes is one of the commonest “silent killer” diseases around us. As long as we are amongst people, it is not so hard discovering at least, one person battling with the disease. It could be you, your parents, spouse, neighbours, or even children. That is why it is necessary that we learn more about how to prevent it, as well as manage it for those who already have it.

When a person is initially diagnosed with diabetes, he or she is totally scared and worried about dying soon. Thoughts of becoming bind, getting amputated limbs, or finally ending up as a vegetable, fills one’s mind and it seems all hope is lost.

The good news is that, once you have adequate knowledge on how to manage diabetes, you prevent a worse condition for yourself, and go on to live a normal, healthy life.

Diabetes is a disease in which there are abnormally high blood sugar levels.  This could happen due to two main reasons:

  • The body does not produce enough of the hormone insulin
  • The body fails to respond to insulin

Insulin is a protein hormone, produced in the pancreas that is important in regulating the amount of sugar (glucose) in the blood. The effect of Insulin is the storage of carbohydrate, protein and fat; hence, it is called the “hormone of abundance.”

There are three different types of diabetes:

  • Type 1 diabetes- In this form of diabetes, the body does not produce enough insulin or no insulin.
  • Type 2 diabetes- In this form of diabetes, the body does not respond normally to insulin produced. This is known as INSULIN RESISTANCE.
  • Gestational diabetes-It occurs when pregnant women without a history of diabetes develop high blood glucose level.

RISK FACTORS FOR DIABETES

  • Obesity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Decrease in muscle mass (especially in old people).
    • Muscles use sugar to generate energy, hence, less muscle results in less sugar being consumed for energy, and more sugar is converted to fat.
  • Heredity- Diabetes is likely to develop amongst people whose parents or close relatives had it.
  • Old age
  • Someone who already has high blood pressure
  • Abnormal cholesterol levels
  • Someone who had gestational diabetes in a previous pregnancy or a baby weighing more than 4kg
  • Women that have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).

 

SYMPTOMS

  • Diabetes may show no symptoms for months, or even years, before it is diagnosed
  • High level of sugar in the blood
  • Polyuria- urinating in abnormally large volumes
  • Abnormal thirst(polydipsia)
  • Weight loss in spite of increased appetite
  • Blurred vision
  • Decreased endurance during exercise
  • Drowsiness
  • Lightheadedness on standing
  • Confusion
  • Seizures
  • Worsening vision with damage to blood vessels of the eyes
  • Swelling in the legs and other parts of the body due to kidney failure
  • Pain or numbness and tingling of hands and feet
  • Foot infections and ulcers
  • Sudden loss of function of limbs

DIAGNOSIS

Most people who have diabetes have no symptoms. Symptoms tend to become more prominent with time.  The best way to arrest the situation as early as possible is to have a screening test for diabetes, especially if one is with any of the risk factors above.  The screening test involves a simple blood work in which your blood sugar level is measured. A person is diagnosed with diabetes if the blood sugar level is above 125mg/dl in a fasting state, or 200mg/dl and higher if the test was performed at random.

PREVENTION OF DIABETES

  • PROPER DIET: foods that could increase blood sugar levels like starchy foods (rice, bread), and sweets (cake, sugar); should be reduced from one’s diet.
  • EXERCISE: engaging in physical activity is another way to prevent the onset of diabetes.one should avoid living a sedentary life, and engage in brisk walking, tennis, swimming, and other forms of exercises regularly.
  • WEIGHT LOSS: being overweight is a risk factor for diabetes; hence, one should try to maintain a normal weight. Determining what one’s normal weight is meant to be can be calculated using the Body Mass Index BMI. This is done by dividing weight (in kilograms) by height (in metres squared).
  • Underweight: less than 19
  • Normal weight: 19 to 25
  • Overweight: more than 25 but less than 30
  • Obese: 30 and above

 

TREATMENT

As soon as a diagnosis is made, the healthcare professional will recommend medications to control the disease and prevent complications. Routine visits will also be arranged so that the patient’s progress is regularly monitored. In the same vein, exercise is encouraged and diet should be well monitored. A person with diabetes goes on to live a long, healthy life if these steps are taken in their right proportions.

REFERENCES

  • Hall, John E. Pocket Companion to Guyton and Hall Textbook of Medical Physiology. 11th Pennsylvania: Elsevier Inc., 2006.
  • Peters, Anne L. Conquering Diabetes. USA: Plume (Penguin Group Inc.), 2005.
  • Beers, Mark H., Jones, Thomas V., et al (eds.). The Merck Manual of Health and Aging. New York: Ballantine Books, 2004.
  • m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diabetes_mellitus

“WHAT IS TAKEN BY ALLAH IS NEVER LOST”

I came across this beautiful quote by Yasmin Mogahed, and I couldn’t help but reflect on how life treats us, and how we react to it. For a period of time, everything seems smooth and easy, and we forget ourselves in the joys of life. Suddenly, tragedy strikes, and we start to lament, “why me?! “. As inhabitants of this world, we will encounter one type of trial or another, we only have to pray not to be struck with one that is beyond what we can bear; that will not shake our faith in Allah.
Allah always knows what is best for us, and sometimes when we lose something, or fail to achieve a goal, it could be that Allah has something better in store for us. How many of us still stay strong after a calamity befalls us? How many of us guard our faith when we are faced with trouble? Truly it is not an easy feat, as the mundane mind struggles with our spirituality. When one has suffered a loss, you feel defeated, ashamed, and so lonely. You feel like Allah has abandoned your pleas. However, Allah has told us in Qur’an 2 verse 153, ” Oh you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer; indeed Allah is with the patient.” When we are faced with adversity, and we remain patient no matter how hard it is, we shall triumph in the end; because Allah has also promised us in Qur’an 94 verse 6, ” For indeed with every hardship (will be) ease.” So, no matter what trial you might be going through right now, know that every believer will be tested in faith. Even our esteemed Prophet Muhammad, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him; faced so many trials in his lifetime: he grew up as an orphan, was persecuted by his kinsmen because of his faith, his greatest supporters – his wife and uncle – died when he needed them most, he lost six of his children in his lifetime; yet he triumphed in the end because he was steadfast with Allah.
When someone dies, or when we lose a goal, as muslims we say ” Indeed from Allah we are, and to Allah we shall return”. This is enough admonition for us, to make us remember that we only strive, Allah’s will shall always be manifest. Nevertheless, we need not cry for long, as Allah as promised us ease after every hardship as revealed in the verse above, and in Qur’an 30 verse 60 which says, ” …indeed the promise of Allah is truth…”.
Let us keep the hope in our hearts alive no matter what might have befallen us, let us believe that Allah will replace our losses with something better for us, and let us never forget, that what is taken by Allah is never lost.